Imagine… Alex Horne is your colleague. Sometimes you make stilted small talk in the office. He’s perfectly nice but you have almost nothing in common. The other day he emailed you about a different colleague’s retirement party. Then there’s an image of Alex Horn smiling politely.
Imagine… Alex Horne loses his dog. You find his dog. Then you never speak again because why would you? You don’t stay in contact with the random stranger who happened to find your dog, do you? Then there’s an image of Alex Horn holding a dog in his arms.
Imagine… Mark Watson sees you using a wheelchair at the airport. He says nothing because it’s literally none of his business and he assumes that if you’re using a wheelchair it’s almost certainly because you need one. Then there’s a photo of Mark smiling politely.
Imagine… You live with Alex Horne and he just used up all the hot water. Ge knew you had a really important job interview today. He was really selfish spending such a long time in the shower. What was he even doing in there?It’s not like he’s got loads of hair to wash. Then there’s a photo of Alex Horne in a dressing gown and towel looking sheepish.
Imagine… You just friend broke up with your ex. Mark Watson isn’t your ex but he is very proud of you. It was for the best. Your friendship is a blessing that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Then there’s an image of Mark smiling and doing a thumbs up.
Imagine… You ask Alex Horne not to tell anyone something mildly embarrassing that you told him. But within a few hours he breaks your trust. Then there’s an image of Alex Horne smiling.
Imagine… Alex Horne flies you across the world to see the northern lights. You don’t see them and you end up arguing on the coach ride back to the hotel in the middle of the night. Then there’s an image of Alex Horne wearing a yellow jumper.
Imagine… The tour company let you come on a different night because you didn’t see the northern lights the first time. You see a bit of them but they’re honestly kind of underwhelming and you wondered why you even bothered coming on this holiday with Alex Horne in the first place. Then there’s a photo of Alex looking disappointed next to a photo of the northern lights.
Imagine… You convince Alex Horn you don’t know the word calculator. That’s it. That’s the imagine. Then there’s an image of Alex looking concerned as well as a stock image of a calculator.
Imagine… There’s a power cut so you can’t go on the internet to find more photos of Alex Horne for your shitty imagines. Thankfully, you’ve got some on your phone that you can reuse. Then there’s the exact same image of Alex looking concerned as there is in the calculator imagine.
Imagine… You invite Alex Horne round to hook up. These are the two objects he brings with him Then there’s a photo of Alex holding a hammer and a bell. He looks worried.
Imagine… You take Alex Horne to A&E. It’s really dull and you spend ages waiting around. Then there’s a photo of Alex looking a bit bored.
Imagine… Alex Horne asks you out for coffee. You think it’s a date, but it turns out he’s just trying to sell you his pyramid scheme. And he didn’t even pay for the coffee. Then there’s an image of him looking a little awkward.
Imagine… Alex Horne cat sits for you. He also shags in your house while your away. Then there’s an image of him licking a lolly.
Imagine… You and Alex Horne consider going to Kent. Then there’s an image of him looking concerned and a screenshot of a message which says Thanet is in Kent.
Imagine… Alex Horne is your good nice sweet friend and you love him very much. He also loves you lots too. Then there’s an image of Alex doing two thumbs up and wearing a cosy looking jumper.
Imagine… Alex Horne and Greg Davies are deeply in love. Then there’s an image of the two of them stood next to each other smiling wide and stood very close.
Imagine… You forget to reply to Tim Key’s message. It’s fine thought, it wasn’t urgent and he doesn’t take it personally. Then there’s an image of him fully clothed in the bath.
Imagine… Mark Watson invited you to his halloween party. When you show up he’s entirely naked save for a tie. He claims that he’s dressed as Morph. Everyone else at the party is acting like this is totally normal. Does Morph even wear a tie? Then there’s an image of him, from the waist up, naked save for a tie around his neck.
Imagine… Tim Key bakes you a cake. It’s a perfectly okay cake. It was nice of him to bake it for you. Then there’s an image of him looking a little awkward.
Imagine… Tim Key is lactose intolerant. You buy oat milk when he comes round. Then there’s an image of Tim Key wearing a striped shirt.
Imagine… You finally convince Tim Key to watch a show that you really like. He says it’s okay. Then there’s an image of Tim Key doing an okay sign with his fingers where his thumb and first finger are touching.
Imagine… Fern Brady friend zones you. We all know you were punching above your weight. Then there’s an image of Fern Brady looking a little disappointed.
Imagine… You and Tim Key have been good friends for years but you still haven’t actually seen him perform live. When you finally see him perform you don’t actually find him to be all that funny. Then there’s an image of Tim Key with a microphone.
Imagine… you want to visit your friend Tim Key but the trains are being a pain. Then there’s an image of Tim Key with his mouth wide open and his eyes squeezed shut.
Imagine… Tim Key writes you a poem. In theory it’s lovely but in practice it’s like when someone tried to serenade you and it’s mostly quite awkward and you don’t know what to do with your hands or your face or where to look. Then there’s an image of Tim Key with his notebook looking a little annoyed honestly.
